When I was in middle school, my best friend Alex had an epic crush on this guy Brenden. He was in my science class, and I took a seminar with him for the program we were in so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to do something nice for Alex. What exactly was my idea of "something nice"? I picked some hairs off of his shirt which had some of the hair gel he used on them and put them in a small glass jar that once held glitter. I didn't just happen to have the jar on my person. I planned this. I found the jar in my box of art supplies, emptied it out into another container, and brought it to school so that I could put Brenden's hair in it and give it to Alex.
I gave it to her. She was delighted.
This is why I'm single.
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