"I choked on his product and blew my nose on his blanket."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

on souvenirs

I'm sort of a pack rat. Okay, I'm terrible. I'm about a box full of "perfectly good wrapping paper" away from being featured on A&E's "Hoarders". That's not the problem here. My big problem is taking "souvenirs" and keeping them. I've still got receipts for PENS I bought while I was in Japan. I saved a photo that was overexposed and ruined while being developed, a photo that came out as a red and white abstract image with no discernible face. I still have the plane tickets from when I flew to Oregon in ninth grade.

Like I said, my problem is souvenirs. Not just weird souvenirs, but creepy ones. Here's a list of the top five creepy souvenirs I've amassed over the years off the top of my head (there are probably, unfortunately, worse ones that I cannot recall at the time).

5. EXPOSITION. I actually bought their demo CD and TWO of their bandshirts. Alyssa can vouch for me on this one (and definitely relate). (Honorable mention: I bought a lot of shitty demo CDs just because I thought the band members were hot. A LOT.)

4. I still have the ticket stub from when I saw 1408 with Steinberg.

3. In grade 10, I had a group project with a boy that I was pretty sweet on. I mean, I don't think I would have ever considered dating him, but he was really cute. He gave me his phone number so I could call him if I needed help. I kept the phone number, written IN HIS HANDWRITING (omg, right??) in my wallet for YEARS. Seriously. Every once in a while I'll find the wallet and get totally weirded out, but I can't bring myself to throw it away.

2. I once "kept" a voicemail I received from a boy I had met on LIVEJOURNAL that I really liked. I would listen to his voicemail every few days and re-save it so it wouldn't get deleted. I had it for MONTHS.


1. For a few years in high school, I had a crinkled one-dollar bill taped to my door. Why? Well, I had received it from a boy I liked after I had lent him a dollar. (Honorable mention: I once lent a different boy five dollars in grade 8, and kept his folded five-spot in my diary for about two years.)

BONUS

In high school, I would delete all the "unimportant" phone calls from my call logs so I could marvel over the 2 hour call I had with a guy that I liked. I was distraught when I made more than 10 phone calls without deleting the logs and lost the "important" log. Seriously. When I "lost it" I cried.

THIS IS DEFINITELY WHY I'M SINGLE

No comments:

Post a Comment