Sweet sixteen.

The first time I ever touched a penis was when I had taken a greyhound to Truckee to stay with a girl I met off of Myspace who then dropped me off in Reno to visit some guy I met off of Vampirefreaks.

So I'm in bed with VF guy who decides he wants to mess around, starts rubbing at his junk under the blankets and tells me I should try it. I was hesitant and didn't know what I was supposed to do so he takes my hand and guides it to his promised land. I literally just grabbed it gently with my thumb and forefinger, panicked, and ran upstairs saying "I'm gonna go wash my hands!" because I thought you were supposed to wash your hands after?


My stepmother later forced me to mail him a hand written thank-you note for letting me stay over.

He never spoke to me again.


This is why I'm single.


(Sorry I switch tense a lot when writing.)