Jelly Beans.

Once upon a college semester, I got a cute boy’s number. His name was Murphy and we had a Psych class together, but I was too retarded to notice that he had been trying to converse with me for most of that semester. Luckily, he happened to be in a play that I had to see over the summer, so I decided to linger around afterwards so I could attempt to acquire them digits.

When he came out, we exchanged hellos but he was in a hurry to get home. It took me until he was several yards across campus to gather the courage to yell (and I mean, YELL), “MURPHY!!!!” He stopped. “CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?” He yelled his number at me, though, and continued on his way.

~*~LATER THAT SUMMER…
I sent him a text. Out of fucking nowhere. About jelly beans. What was it about jelly beans that I just had to tell this guy? Something along the lines of "So I was eating jelly beans and had one of every color except for yellow because I don't really like them and didn't want any more. But then I felt bad for the yellow ones and didn't want them to feel left out so I ate one, but I don't remember if I actually ate one or not so I had to eat two to make sure but now it's bugging me"

Some weird shit like that. He never texted me again.

This is why I'm single.