Terrible, terrible gifts.
Sometimes, I'm really just an asshole when it comes to giving people gifts "for the lulz." I usually try and get something decent that I know the person will really enjoy or appreciate, but...
Middle School: I went to Layla's birthday party for the first time and I bought her a flyswatter. From the 99 cent store/big lots. This was the first of many awful things I have given layla. I can't remember them all, but one year for Christmas I just gave her this squishy/sticky tomato toy that you can throw at the wall and it might stick for MONTHS until it rolls down to the floor...
High School: I bought my friend Yael an assortment of things for one of her birthdays. One of the items was a hot pink toilet brush and the stand it sat in said "Princess."
My Boyfriend's Birthday (when I had one, HUR HUR): I had to work but we made plans to hang out when I got off. Instead of bringing him one of the mini coconut cakes from work with a candle in it, I brought him a chocolate chip twist and put a candle in it. I brought him this... because it was phallic and it amused me.
I'm an asshole and this is why I'm single.
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