Dear starbucks guy, I'M SO SORRY OH GOD

I really hope this is the last of my single posts regarding starbucks guy. Oh my gooooodddd.

SO TODAY.

I went in there because the locals scare me and the baristas (and this guy Aaron) are the only social interaction I really desire in this here town and I wanted to see people today. I didn't have anything I needed to study, and that's usually the only reason I went in there so I decided to bring a bunch of art supplies and make Paulie a crazy obnoxious birthday card. I'll dedicate a post to the card later. This kid came in that I've encountered maybe two other times before. His name is Paul and he's pretty nice, uncomfortably polite, but not awful to talk to I guess. He came over and commented on my card, said it was cute (HA) and that he'd be outside if I wanted to talk. I finished up the card and texted a few people before poking my head outside to see if he was still present and walking over to talk for a minute. Somehow he got me to buy him a drink? I don't even really remember the conversation, and he said he was kidding when we actually went inside, but whatever. Also, before we went inside he tried to put his arm around my waist and I freaked out, yelled "no physical contact!!!" and wiggled away from him.

So I went inside to get my wallet and he took forever to pick a drink because he is not a, and I HATE this word, "starbucksian." There was a weird four-way conversation/decision between strawberry banana and banana chocolate, and I told Eric (~*~starbucks guy~*~) that banana chocolate makes me uncomfortable, and I couldn't really explain why. Slightly awkward. So dude got his drink and my mom called to tell me she wanted me to walk over to office depot to see how much paper was. I didn't want to be rude so I asked dude if he wanted to come on an adventure. He agreed and I said "be right back," went into the bathroom, and came out with a sharpie mustache and goatee.

As I exited I patted Eric on the butt. He said, "THANK YOU FOR THAT" and looked incredibly, INCREDIBLY, upset.

Aside from obvious no-no on sexual harassment, I'm really really paranoid that everyone there thought I might have had a thing with that dude or something because I just left with him sort of suddenly and bought his drink and oh god oh god oh god no.

AND THEN.

AND. THEN.

I came back in with my mom, who was looking like a serious crackhead, to ask where wallgreens was. They told her, and she started putting her arms in the air and waving one saying, "ok so. this one is my right?" because she can't tell right from left and has to wave her arms around like a retarded newly blind person to be able to tell!!!!!

THISISWHYI'MSINGLE.