on getting drunk

A FEW SUMMERS AGO, I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS

So, yes, I'm drinking with Alyssa at our friend's brother's apartment. I got crazy drunk, as I was a high school girl surrounded by a lot of cool older kids (think the kids that ate ice cream in Disney's "The Weekenders") that just needed to loosen up. Thing is, I loosened up a bit too much.

So, guys, there are two things that ended up happening. The first is that I called Tyler. I locked myself in the bathroom and professed my love for Tyler via telephone. In several languages. At one point, I was told, Joe's (he's coming up in a minute) older brother knocked on the door and told me that my Japanese wasn't making any sense.

So, basically, my conversation with Tyler was my drunkenly moaning "TYLERRRRR!!! I LOOOOOVE YOU! WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME? I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH．愛してるタイレル大好きよ．一年生の時からタイレルだけ大好きゃ" and so on. At one point, I set the phone down on the bathroom tile, threw up, and picked the phone up again.

I eventually hung up (called him back, and hung up again), and returned to the common room. As it turned out, during my tanked telephone tirade, most of the people had left or fallen asleep. I found myself with Joe- a guy that I had liked through most of high school (although, with the number of people I liked during high school, it isn't saying much)- and his older brother. While Joe was using the restroom, I told Joe's brother (rather loudly, I believe) that I really liked Joe, and when he got back his brother left us alone. We made awkward conversation, and then Joe kissed me. What Joe didn't know is that I had just thrown up, and the last time I was kissed was in elementary school. I freaked out, and because I'm an emasculating bitch by nature, started laughing in his face because of how nervous I was.

HE LEFT.

THIS IS DEFINITELY WHY I'M SINGLE

PS- THE NEXT DAY, I SAW TYLER AND IT WAS AWKWARD AS HELL