Subtle as a brick.

A few summers ago, I spent a lot of time with my two best friends. We hung out a lot at my guy best friend's brother's apartment and he had a few parties we attended. I had a huge crush on his brother and, of course, chose the most dignified and sexy way to inform him.

I had a few drinks at the party while playing Kings and chatting, and since I'm such a light weight and neglected to eat very much that day I got pretty drunk. Perfect. Somehow I ended up alone on the floor of his room, which for whatever reason had no lights. He wandered in and looked down at me and I yelled "Tooonyyy, I love you!!!" He was, with good reason, confused and didn't say anything to his little brother's crazy chick friend drunk on the floor of his bedroom. I went on... "Love mee... LOOOVVEEE MEEEEEEEE!" He walked out and for the next I don't even know how long I kept saying "AI SHITERU!" and he kept trying to tell me that he didn't know what I was even saying because he hadn't taken Japanese in forever, but I repeated myself anyway.

I stopped after my friend told me that I was embarrassing myself. I insisted that I wasn't, but I stopped professing my love anyway.

The next morning was spent playing Mario Kart in the livingroom and every once in a while someone would say "LOOVE MEEEEE."

Tony doesn't remember that occurrence... but is far from attracted to me nonetheless.

This is why I'm single.