I made a Tinder account

It's all true.

This is how it works, right?

This is how to win ALL THE MENSES. menzes? minses? mens? sex.

I'm also very cold.

At home sick, going through unread messages dating back to October, apparently...

I can't stop laughing.

:|

This may or may not turn me on...

Help.

Also on Cakes.

So, I saw this post

and it reminded me of this one time in college.

I was craving cake or cupcakes almost the entire time I was at UCI, but one Friday night I had a particularly strong hankering. All of my roommates were out of town and I was feeling lonely so I made my way to the Albertsons to buy myself a god damn cake. When I was checking out, the bagger asked me if I wanted him to write anything on the cake. I was also buying a bottle of 151 so it looked like I was heading to a party...
"Oh, no, that's just for me. To eat. By myself."
"I can still write something on it, if you want."
"I mean, if you want to, you go right ahead."
I don't think he took me seriously because he just put it in a bag and didn't write anything on it and I am STILL disappointed.

On boundaries.

On the second or third day of my second job, (my true love gave to me...)

I was charging my phone after my shift and some dude bought one of the delicious looking cakes I hadn't yet tried. I uh... I asked him if I could smell it.

He let me smell it.

I think we're friends now?