On bodily fluids feat. run-on sentence(s) and warning: WAY more details than you'd really care to know!

So this one time I was hooking up with this guy in his car--classy, I know, but I'm going to be candid for a moment and say that while there is a lack of space that makes it awkward to freely maneuver about, the firmness of a back seat makes it really nice for me when I'm on top and I kind of prefer it as long as there's enough room vertically. I'm pretty short, though. Anyway, we didn't have any condoms so we busied ourselves with alternative activities and I decided that I'd really like to try swallowing. I'd never done it before, mostly because I'm terrified of gagging on it and having disaster follow. This was a real concern because when I was little and I'd try to force myself to eat cooked zucchini, It would come RIGHT back up when I tried to swallow it. Just what I had immediately swallowed, though, no other... business.

So with that decision made, I went about my partaking, and as usual my nose started getting a little runny and my eyes started watering. I have no idea why this happens or if it's normal or happens to anyone else. Please tell me if this happens to you because it's seriously embarrassing.

Things were going well until it came close to the end and I started having trouble breathing because 1) the obstruction to my mouthbreathing pathways and 2) even a slightly runny nose makes it a little hard to breathe, especially with constant sniffing while partaking. I didn't want to just STOP when he was that close because that's awful and I've been in choir since I was 5, I've got the breath control thing down alright. So he finished and I tried, I really, REALLY tried but I ended up coughing/choking from lack of proper air and it just... went everywhere. Saliva and man-seed just splushed down his leg and my jaw and the seat. I was slightly horrified, he was... recovering? and just wiped up the mess with a blanket.

And THEN. And then... I didn't seem to have any napkins or anything in my purse, and I really needed to blow my nose because sniffing wasn't sufficient, so I said to him, "Hey, this is really gross but unless you have napkins or something somewhere, can I please blow my nose on your blanket?" And he let me.

I choked on his product and blew my nose on his blanket.

This is why I'm single.

Get at me, boys.


--
Sidenote: I was just thinking, since my being single due more to my personality than looks, if I gain 175 pounds, people will have to start saying that I have a GREAT personality.

I whisper to myself.

Alex and I were sitting at some tables in a bar, waiting for them Peaches to go on. She handed me her glass of Guinness to taste since I'd never tried it before. After I had a sip I whispered to myself, "Oh sweet nectar," just as the band that was on had ended their set. Everyone near me heard it and laughed at me and this guy commented that it wasn't meant to be heard by anyone else.

Yup.

Single update

Things didn't really work out with the guy I was dating.

With that, here are some photos:

I spent a few hours doing this on my laptop. I could have  cut out the faces and just drawn the sheep stuff but instead I traced over everything and filled it in with the paintbrush so it took a while.

I'm using this photo of my friend as my Facebook profile picture

-This is why I'm single