on... periods, i guess

I may have already mentioned that whenever I'm on my period, or am about to start it, I'll post "THERE WILL BE BLOOD" on my facebook. Since I started doing that, I feel like I've been bringing more and more (unnecessary) attention to my menstruation.

EARLIER TODAY, I was in the emergency room. It was nothing big, but long story short I was a visitor and ended up a patient because I almost passed out in the hallway and they made me go to ER. They just ran a few tests to make sure my heart was beating ok and they took my blood sugar and sent me on my way. But, when I had to have my blood sugar tested, my finger refused to bleed. The nurse pricked it and squeezed and squeezed and she couldn't get enough out so she had to get more blood from my other finger. My dad was there and trying to be goofy as usual and made some dumb comment asking where all of my blood went or was or where I was hiding it or something. I said, "WELL I AM MENSTRUATING!"

He was not pleased with that answer. The nurse half-laughed awkwardly.

This is why I'm single.

IT'S A KINGDOM. A KINGDOM!!!

At some point during the two weeks of summer I was seeing my neighbor before we both moved, I got into an argument with him because he didn't believe that there was such thing as a "protist."

This is why I'm single.


Edit: Fuck that uneducated cuntwaffle.

COSTUMES.

I went to Anime Expo 2008 and cosplayed from this thing called OS-tan. I think it was originally some sort of manga in a magazine and turned to a big-ish internet thing (among some people, at least). I went as Windows 98 and forced my 3 friends to go as ME, 2000, and XP.

I WENT TO AN ANIME CONVENTION. DRESSED AS A PERSONIFIED VERSION OF AN OPERATING SYSTEM. I FORCED MY FRIENDS TO DO THE SAME. I STILL HAVE THE COSTUME (sans skirt).

THIS IS WHY I'M SINGLE!

Oh also, did I already mention in another post the time I met a guy from the internet in Seattle at his house, went to the bathroom, and came out dressed as Yoshi? I WALKED AROUND IN THE COSTUME. OUTSIDE. IN PUBLIC. MAKING YOSHI NOISES.

When I was in first grade, my teachers (I actually had two teachers. I was in a class combining 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders. WOOOO RENO!) told the class to "dress up for picture day tomorrow." And dress up I did! In a white bunny costume. Clearly, "dress up" only had one meaning to me at this point. Everyone made fun of me, chased me around the playground, and some douchefag pulled off my tail. I cried and was possibly genuinely upset about my costume's lack of tail at least until middle school.

In third grade, I had my mother make me a carrot costume for halloween. It was a giant bright orange puffy triangle and the point at the bottom/middle made it look like I had a fat orange penis between my 3rd-grade legs. When I went to school wearing it for our class halloween party, everyone asked "are you a TIHNGY?" I yelled at them because, clearly, "thingies" didn't have GREEN LEAVES GROWING OUT OF THEM! (I had a green hat with silk leaves and shit on long stems). I still have that costume because it's absolutely amazing and in high school I somehow managed to squeeze into it again and have my friend take the most horrifying photo of me ever. I looked possessed and would show that photo to every cute boy I talked to on the internet because for some reason I thought it would make them like me.

Because I've turned into a creepy pedophile?

Text convo between me and some 16 year old dude:

dude: So anyway, hilarious potential pedophile friend... how is the night treating you?
me: Eating polish sausage
dude: Figuratively or literally?
me: I'm not sucking the cock of a polish boy, or biting it off. I'm eating a sausage. From the store.
dude: Oh. Im part polish.
me: ............ >>
dude: << insinuations insued

LOLJK im irish
me: GOD DAMNIT

This is why I'm single - creepy as fuck, biting off dicks is hilarious

AND I QUOTE

Somewhere along the lines of,

"WOW, what are you doing? Are you like.. trying to finger my urethra?!"
"...YES."

ThisiswhyI'msingle.